Pain is often passed down through relationships. Why? Because sometimes it's easier for us to cause another person pain than it is to accept and heal our own. In this episode, I reflect on the pain that I have passed on to other people through my relationships and why. I've found that we often pass on the pain that we received growing up on to other people. Until we become aware and heal those wounds within ourselves, we’ll just keep on hurting other people as a way to defend ourselves from experiencing certain pains again. But protection doesn’t heal, compassion and love for yourself as well as other people does.
Down the path of self-discovery and inner navigation, there comes a point where looking at our past choices can offer valuable insight. One of the greatest teachers and ways of learning about ourselves and who we are is to take a look at the relationships we created and engaged in throughout our lives. Relationships are valuable because they can show us the things that we cannot see on our own. In this episode, I take a trip down memory lane and reflect on a few past relationships in order to gain insight and understanding. At first, I was blaming the men I dated for my series of failed relationships, thinking that there was something wrong with them. But over time, I came to realize that the common denominator here is me and thus began the shift in perspective. What am I doing to contribute to these relationships? What choices am I making that are part of this pattern? What am I putting out into the universe that is bringing these people to me? Self-reflection can be fun… sometimes.
Embracing the unknown isn’t a one-time event, it is a daily occurrence. It’s not once that we have to make a drastic change but rather it is a reoccurring practice of learning how to let go. In this episode, I come to terms with the fact that stepping back into a place that I know is actually another unknown within itself. Embracing the unknown means letting the universe open up a path for you - one that you have not and potentially could not see on your own
This week's topic is a reflection of the process of death as it happens every day to the ego. Because as Krishnamurti said, “You cannot live without dying. You cannot live if you do not die psychologically every minute. This is not an intellectual paradox. To live completely, wholly, every day as if it were a new loveliness, there must be dying to everything of yesterday, otherwise, you live mechanically, and a mechanical mind can never know what love is or what freedom is.” So understand to understand the self, we must understand which parts of yourself are truly your own and which parts of yourself are holding your back and then to allow those parts to die.
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On the path of moving forward and moving on, there comes a time to accept the things that will eventually come your way. And accepting that the future holds both love and loss is difficult for me on many levels. In this episode, I confront the fact that opening yourself up also means opening your heart to both the love and the pain. Ultimately, there is no way to avoid the pain the only thing that we can do is to go towards in an effort to heal it and understand it. Shallow living is best avoided by going down into your depths and accepting whatever you find. Even if you fear the pain that you are going to eventually experience, there are still lessons to be learned in the present moment. Because if that fear is calling you, that means that you must towards in order to hear it's message and meaning.
When traveling to unknown places within ourselves, sometimes we need a little bit of help getting there. In this episode, I have a live coaching session with Ryan Branch, also known as the Core Truth Coach. During our session, he helps me access a part of myself that I sometimes have a hard time getting to: My heart. By helping me open up myself and the love that lives inside of me, Ryan helps me see my heart for what it is. He also helps me become aware of some of the things that are stopping me from living through that space.
For more information or to set up a coaching session of your own, contact Ryan Branch at:
Just because you are taking a step back, doesn’t mean you are going backwards. In this episode, I wrestle with the fact that just because I'm going back to something that I know, it doesn't mean that it is a failure. I have an obsession with moving forward and automatically assuming that where I am at is not good enough. I am constantly not just trying to move onwards but also sometimes pushing myself too forward and too fast. Learning how to take a step back is needed because it's showing me that it is okay to be exactly where I am at and that ultimately that I am okay. Basically what it comes down to is learning how to have acceptance and compassion for myself. to matter the situation, taking a step back is both needed and necessary. If that is the step in front of you, then that is the step that you need to take, whatever direction that may be.
It’s suiting that I ended up in Ireland at this point in time because like myself, I found that Ireland is on its own healing journey. In this episode, I talk about my most recent trip to Ireland and the realizations that I came to. Before I arrived, I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect but my trip there ended up being everything that I needed. Ireland has helped open up my heart a little bit and by doing so it has shown me that it is safe to move forward and move on. During this trip, I felt the immediate benefits of letting go of much of the pain that I have been holding onto. By letting go, I can already feel some of the emotion, mental, and spiritual space inside of me freeing up. Because of this, it is allowing me to continue forward and allow myself to be the person that I always have been. My surroundings are once again acting as a mirror and Ireland has shown me that my capacity to love and to heal goes deeper than I initially thought.
Is this episode, I end up answering my own question of “letting go of what?”. I realized that the thing that I needed to let go of wasn’t just what happened in the past, but of how I related to the past. My year spent living in Portland, OR was a bitter/sweet experience. I found that I was still holding onto the pain that I experienced there because a part of me didn’t believe that there was another option. In this episode, I briefly tell the story of my time in Portland while dissecting the layers of my hurt while there. I can finally speak about this aspect of my past because I am confident that I am ready to let go of any and all traces of pain that I experienced while I was there. I find that wanting to move on from something is enough to actually do it. This episode is symbolic of me cutting all emotional ties to that particular time of my life. I am proud to say that I am ready and willing to let go, which is very fitting because it is also my last day being 26.