Podcast episode about self-discovery and the process that we take to get there.Read More
How do we forgive?
In this episode, I talk about what forgiveness is and the path that we must take in order to fully forgive.
We hold onto blame and resentment because in a way, it feels better to have a concrete reason as to why we feel a certain way. But justifying how we feel by blaming someone else only perpetuates resentment and keeps forgive at bay.
So then what is the first step towards forgiveness? Acceptance.
Accepting how you feel and why you feel that way. Being completely honest with yourself without attempting to hide it, change it, or deny it.
Because how can you move on when you are only denying where you are at ?
How do we learn self-worth? I believe that it’s done by removing the barriers within ourselves that keep us from experiencing a true sense of worth. In this episode, I explain what unworthiness is, where it comes from and how it affects our lives. Like self-love, self-worth is something that is continuously promoted (rightfully so) but there seems to be something missing from the equation. Seldom we are taught or shown how to navigate the ways in which to feel that worth when all we see is our believed lack of it. This leaves us feeling not only less than worthy but also without hope of even having a path to elsewhere. How are we suppose to move forward navigating the world and the self when we don’t feel as though we have an ounce of self-love left inside of us? When it comes to the feeling of unworthiness, if we don’t go towards it in an attempt to understand and release it, then it is always going to be there. In this episode, I attempt to go towards my own feelings of self-worth in order to better understand the self and the world.
Pain is often passed down through relationships. Why? Because sometimes it's easier for us to cause another person pain than it is to accept and heal our own. In this episode, I reflect on the pain that I have passed on to other people through my relationships and why. I've found that we often pass on the pain that we received growing up on to other people. Until we become aware and heal those wounds within ourselves, we’ll just keep on hurting other people as a way to defend ourselves from experiencing certain pains again. But protection doesn’t heal, compassion and love for yourself as well as other people does.
Down the path of self-discovery and inner navigation, there comes a point where looking at our past choices can offer valuable insight. One of the greatest teachers and ways of learning about ourselves and who we are is to take a look at the relationships we created and engaged in throughout our lives. Relationships are valuable because they can show us the things that we cannot see on our own. In this episode, I take a trip down memory lane and reflect on a few past relationships in order to gain insight and understanding. At first, I was blaming the men I dated for my series of failed relationships, thinking that there was something wrong with them. But over time, I came to realize that the common denominator here is me and thus began the shift in perspective. What am I doing to contribute to these relationships? What choices am I making that are part of this pattern? What am I putting out into the universe that is bringing these people to me? Self-reflection can be fun… sometimes.
Just because you are taking a step back, doesn’t mean you are going backwards. In this episode, I wrestle with the fact that just because I'm going back to something that I know, it doesn't mean that it is a failure. I have an obsession with moving forward and automatically assuming that where I am at is not good enough. I am constantly not just trying to move onwards but also sometimes pushing myself too forward and too fast. Learning how to take a step back is needed because it's showing me that it is okay to be exactly where I am at and that ultimately that I am okay. Basically what it comes down to is learning how to have acceptance and compassion for myself. to matter the situation, taking a step back is both needed and necessary. If that is the step in front of you, then that is the step that you need to take, whatever direction that may be.
It’s suiting that I ended up in Ireland at this point in time because like myself, I found that Ireland is on its own healing journey. In this episode, I talk about my most recent trip to Ireland and the realizations that I came to. Before I arrived, I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect but my trip there ended up being everything that I needed. Ireland has helped open up my heart a little bit and by doing so it has shown me that it is safe to move forward and move on. During this trip, I felt the immediate benefits of letting go of much of the pain that I have been holding onto. By letting go, I can already feel some of the emotion, mental, and spiritual space inside of me freeing up. Because of this, it is allowing me to continue forward and allow myself to be the person that I always have been. My surroundings are once again acting as a mirror and Ireland has shown me that my capacity to love and to heal goes deeper than I initially thought.
Sometimes we leave a place, a situation or even a person and with it we think that a part of ourselves has left with it. Since I’ve left the states, Ive assumed that some of my internal problems were fixed because they haven’t in the forefront of my consciousness. But recently, these problems have been resurfacing and for me this is a clear sign that the root of my suffering still needs to be addressed and healed. While I have made huge strides, the lack of self love that I have for myself is still very apparent. The lack of self love that I feel deals with the wounded core belief that I am not enough. Often we go through life reaming unhealed because we don’t take the time and the energy to focus our attention internally. Admitting how I actually feel instead of distracting myself from it seems to be the necessary first step.
In order to move forward, we need to face two sets of fears: fear of the external and fear of the self. In this episode, I explore the concept of self doubt and why it can be harder to face than anything outside of us. Self doubt is defined the lack of confidence in one own’s motives, abilities, and even thoughts. But what exactly do those doubt show up as and how do they prevent us from moving forward? I am attempting to look my self doubts in the face in order to eventually move past them.