In this podcast episode, I talk about the importance of forgiving yourself and why is it so necessary when it comes to healing and moving on. Just as we can feel and experience pain because of the actions of others, so too can we feel trapped or burdened because of the own emotional weight that we are carrying within ourselves.Read More
How do we learn self-worth? I believe that it’s done by removing the barriers within ourselves that keep us from experiencing a true sense of worth. In this episode, I explain what unworthiness is, where it comes from and how it affects our lives. Like self-love, self-worth is something that is continuously promoted (rightfully so) but there seems to be something missing from the equation. Seldom we are taught or shown how to navigate the ways in which to feel that worth when all we see is our believed lack of it. This leaves us feeling not only less than worthy but also without hope of even having a path to elsewhere. How are we suppose to move forward navigating the world and the self when we don’t feel as though we have an ounce of self-love left inside of us? When it comes to the feeling of unworthiness, if we don’t go towards it in an attempt to understand and release it, then it is always going to be there. In this episode, I attempt to go towards my own feelings of self-worth in order to better understand the self and the world.
Pain is often passed down through relationships. Why? Because sometimes it's easier for us to cause another person pain than it is to accept and heal our own. In this episode, I reflect on the pain that I have passed on to other people through my relationships and why. I've found that we often pass on the pain that we received growing up on to other people. Until we become aware and heal those wounds within ourselves, we’ll just keep on hurting other people as a way to defend ourselves from experiencing certain pains again. But protection doesn’t heal, compassion and love for yourself as well as other people does.
Down the path of self-discovery and inner navigation, there comes a point where looking at our past choices can offer valuable insight. One of the greatest teachers and ways of learning about ourselves and who we are is to take a look at the relationships we created and engaged in throughout our lives. Relationships are valuable because they can show us the things that we cannot see on our own. In this episode, I take a trip down memory lane and reflect on a few past relationships in order to gain insight and understanding. At first, I was blaming the men I dated for my series of failed relationships, thinking that there was something wrong with them. But over time, I came to realize that the common denominator here is me and thus began the shift in perspective. What am I doing to contribute to these relationships? What choices am I making that are part of this pattern? What am I putting out into the universe that is bringing these people to me? Self-reflection can be fun… sometimes.
This week's topic is a reflection of the process of death as it happens every day to the ego. Because as Krishnamurti said, “You cannot live without dying. You cannot live if you do not die psychologically every minute. This is not an intellectual paradox. To live completely, wholly, every day as if it were a new loveliness, there must be dying to everything of yesterday, otherwise, you live mechanically, and a mechanical mind can never know what love is or what freedom is.” So understand to understand the self, we must understand which parts of yourself are truly your own and which parts of yourself are holding your back and then to allow those parts to die.
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Just because you are taking a step back, doesn’t mean you are going backwards. In this episode, I wrestle with the fact that just because I'm going back to something that I know, it doesn't mean that it is a failure. I have an obsession with moving forward and automatically assuming that where I am at is not good enough. I am constantly not just trying to move onwards but also sometimes pushing myself too forward and too fast. Learning how to take a step back is needed because it's showing me that it is okay to be exactly where I am at and that ultimately that I am okay. Basically what it comes down to is learning how to have acceptance and compassion for myself. to matter the situation, taking a step back is both needed and necessary. If that is the step in front of you, then that is the step that you need to take, whatever direction that may be.
Is this episode, I end up answering my own question of “letting go of what?”. I realized that the thing that I needed to let go of wasn’t just what happened in the past, but of how I related to the past. My year spent living in Portland, OR was a bitter/sweet experience. I found that I was still holding onto the pain that I experienced there because a part of me didn’t believe that there was another option. In this episode, I briefly tell the story of my time in Portland while dissecting the layers of my hurt while there. I can finally speak about this aspect of my past because I am confident that I am ready to let go of any and all traces of pain that I experienced while I was there. I find that wanting to move on from something is enough to actually do it. This episode is symbolic of me cutting all emotional ties to that particular time of my life. I am proud to say that I am ready and willing to let go, which is very fitting because it is also my last day being 26.
We all know that the place we need to go is within, but what is keeping us from going down that path? In this episode, I talk about the importance of being alone, truly alone, with yourself. While I recognize that inwards is the directions I am heading, I still find that going in that direction is difficult. There is a resistance that I feel when trying so go inwards that is rooted in fear. Being alone with ourselves is simple but it is not as easy as one might think. To truly be alone means being alone with every aspect of yourself.. your fears and pains but also the beauty and love that exist within you that you can sometimes fail to see. It means being alone with everything that you are and that can be scary because it means facing the truths you do not want to see.
Sometimes you can only understand yourself in relation to other people or places. In this episode, I talk about about some of the major lessons that I am learning so far while in Spain. Being here is showing me that I not only need other people, but that I have so much to learn about myself through relationships. Spain is acting as a mirror… it is showing me that while personal relationship are difficult for me, they don’t necessarily have to be. Some of that friction exists because we can only see certain parts of ourselves when they interact with their exact opposite. Becoming aware of who you are is also found in how you relate to other people.