Episode 18: Spiritual Awakenings and Such - Transcript

You’re listening to Art of the Unknown, the podcast about traveling inwards, outwards and onwards. 

    Hey guys and welcome back to the show. You’re listening to episode number 18 and I am your, host Sarah Kreuz. In this episode, the question that I want to answer: is what is spiritual awakening?  This is the question that I think I am ready to talk about and I am ready to release out into the world. I am asking this question not because I have the answeror because I fully and completely understand it, but I am asking this question because I feel like in a way am still learningwhat it is and still really trying to understand it and Ithink even just asking the question, what is a spiritual awakening is a way for me and hopefully you as well to understand what exactly is this shift. What exactly is happening to us? Whats happening but also why is it happening and also what does it mean. 

    So I have heard the term of spiritual awakening a lot and Inever really quite understood what this term meant.  I never even consider that it may even applyto me. But over the last few weeks, it’s becoming very clear that I can confidently say that based on what I have been experiencing and what I have researched about the topic is that I am going through a spiritual awakening. Its going to be hard to explain because we are dealing with the metaphysical here but I am going to try to do it the best way I can. I think that hopefully by answering thisquestion and kind of contemplating what it actually is, what it actually means, maybe someone out there can relate because I know that I am not alone in this and I know that other peopleare going through itand maybe they don’t even realize that they are going through it. I didn’t realize that I was going through it until recently andthen the more I researched, the more I understood what was actually happening, the more I looked back on my life and I was like this is making complete sense. 

    So what is a spiritual awakening? From my research and from my understanding, the best way that I can kind of explain this is that it is a shift in your perception of reality. It’s changing the way that you see the world, and you see your place in it on a mental- physical level.  In a way, you are getting a rid of all of the beliefs and all of the ways that you identify yourself with this physical world that in some ways have been placed on you.  Simply from just living here and just experiencing the world as it is. It is expanding your perception of reality and expanding your consciousness to include everything that is built inside of you and outside of you.  Okay that sounds fun and dandy but what exactly does that mean?  What exactly does it mean to expand your consciousness, to include pretty much everything in existence and everything in reality?   So the way that I see it, everything is metaphysical, reality is metaphysical. The way that I see it is that everything, and I mean everything, is made up of energy. So if everything is energy, that means it’s all made up of wave lengths, it’s all made up of vibrations. It’s basically made up of everything that is in exactly tangible andI haven’t studied quantum physics, but from what I have researched and looked into, there is definitely proof to back up what I am saying that everything is energy, everything is vibration and so on.  But I think by saying that, it asks the bigger question, if we are existing in this body, where is that division. I can imagine like one long wave of energy and we are all part of that energy, where does the division between who we are and who someone else is, where does that division lie in that wavelength. When I talked about expanding our consciousness to include everyone else outside of us, I think that is realizing that we are all part of the same wave length, we are all part of the same field of energy. So a good analogy is that we are all a little baby drops of water in the ocean and we are also part of the ocean. There is no distinction between a drop of water and the ocean. It’s the same thing, I feel like that is us in this reality. We are in this body, it appears as though we are separate from everyone else but if you go look deeper and go beyond the physical, you can see that we are actually all connected on energetic level which is why people say we are one. 

    I think part of this thing called a spiritual awakening is to not just understand that concept but to actually feel it. To actually know and realize that we are all connected on energetic level and whatever we do to ourselves we are actually doing to other people, whatever thought we put out into the world is affecting everybody and not just us. I think when you go through that shift ofjust purely focusing on yourself to moving awareness on yourself to other people,  that is when the spiritual shift is really starting to occurand that’s when it can be a little bit painful because that’s when you start removing the ego. Oh yes, I just dropped the ego bomb… so let’s talk about the ego for a second.  When I am talking about the spiritual awakening, the main concept is moving from the awareness of purely yourself to the awareness of everything being one, okay I get that. But in other to do that, that is where the ego comes into play and I really think that when we are moving from including our awareness and our consciousness from everyone to everything, that can only be done by shutting the ego, by letting go of the parts that you purely identify with as your own.  I don’t fully understand what the ego is, again I am trying to understand all there concepts, but I know and I can feel that the ego is there, and it’s the part of me that is preventing me from moving forward. 

    I think that when you are going through a spiritual awakening or you are shifting your perception of reality, the thing that is coming off from you or the thing that is getting rid of you in other not to do that is your ego. You have to shield the skin that is on you in order to move into a higher state of being a higher state of consciousness and a higher vibration overhaul. When that ego starts to shield, I think that is the painful part of going through a spiritual awakening because that is the part of you that wants to so desperately hold on to its existence and hold on to life. When it starts to deteriorate, it’s not going to do so without a fight, it’s not going to go down easily, it’s going to struggle to survive and I can definitely see that happening or has happened in my experiences over the past few months. The ego needs to dissolve and it needs to disappear in order for us to Ithink fully,  completely and clearly see who we really actually are beneath all of the bullshit, beneath all of the social conditioning and beneath all of that to actually be able to see and feel who we are on a spiritual level. It needs a disappear because that is how we begin moving from appearing and just identifying with ourselves and purely identifying with who we think we are and our place here and moving that beyond ourselves and doing that to include everything and everyone in this reality.  

    So shedding this ego and really seeing this your attachment to identity is going to be a bit of a difficult process because ego wants to hold on. Your ego wants to live; your ego wants to exist. But there’s   something inside I think of all of us that it’s beyond that, that is beyond purely identifying with this world, and we know this.  Shielding your ego means you are going to be Shielding the part of yourself thatare no longer in alignment withwho you are and when those part ofyou start to shield off its because they are ready to be released.  This has happened to me, this is happening to me and it’s a weird experience when you can actually look back and see it happening.  So for example I talked about this a little bit in episode number six and I talked about the fact that I was moving from a vegetarian diet to eating fish and I definitely talked about how it felt as if I was losing part of my identity because I had been a vegetarian for so long and looking back on that episode, I can see that was my episode talking.  

    That was my ego struggling to survive. The fact that I felt that I was having a mood dilemma and having internal struggle and battle was because it was my ego trying to leave versus the thing that I knew deep down that I needed todo and I think that definitely kind of sums up the experience of whatit can feel like to have your ego shuttingoff from you and again it was a little bit painful internally but again it had to happen because Letting go part of your identity are not easy and it’s not going to happen overnight but I think that once you are ready to start moving forward and start vibrating higher, you canhold on to those parts of you. They can’t exist if you want to awaken spiritually and move forward and grow; there are parts of you that are going to have to die. There are parts of you that you are going to have to leave behind and I am not just talking about things in the external world but I am also talking about those things inside of you that you hold on. I mean it could be for various reasons because you are used to it, it’s become a habit, you hold on to these things because it’s a sense of security. It can be for whatever reasons, but you hold on to these things, when you start to move forward and grow, it becomes very clear that these things cannot co exist. You can’t move forward while still holding on to the parts of you that needs to be let go. Episode #6 was a good example of me moving forward while struggling internally to do so.  SoI think that aspiritual awakening really comes down to moving from a state of I don’t want to say a lower vibration but I want to say a state that isn’t love to love. Its moving towards love and towards realizing that we are all energetically connected. In order to do so we are going to need to release the parts of ourselves that don’t think that, that don’t align with that, that don’t actually believe that and that’s going to be the ego

    Shifting your perception from believing certain things to understanding and really seeing things the way that they are is going to take a toll. It’s going to take work and its going to be gradual but for some people it’s more rapid. I don’t know if you want to compare the time, but it’s relative anyway. Either way its going to take movement, it’s going to take where you are to where we are going and within that movement, whatever you want to call it, that is where the spiritual awakening is going to take place

    I want to go over a few things that I kind of have gathered on what if feels like and what exactly it means to awaken spiritually on a practical level, so spiritual awakening means change. Change is happening, change is occurring, change needs to come and spiritual change is a thing too. When you are really starting to shift and change the way that you see the world and yourself, that means that you are going to want to change the things outside of you as well. It means that you are going to start your basically desired change and its going to come and you are not exactly going to understand all these. For me, I don’t really understand why but looking back, it all makes sense.          When you really start to change internally, that is where it has to begin. Everything has to occur first within you before it can be manifested or seen in the outside world. It’s not the opposite. You can’t change the outside world and expect the inside world to change.  You need to change the inside world first. I want to say the six months or so before I left on this trip and before Ileft for yelpand moved out of Portland, I was so desperately desiring change. I wanted change and I needed change. Change had to happen. I wasn’t exactly sure why, but looking back I understand that everything was just changing so quickly and so fast and I felt like I really needed to make amove in my life which is why of course I bought a one way ticket here. again what I am doing isn’tnecessarily for everybody but of coursefor me sometimes when I need change, I just need to get the hell out of wherever I am. I just need a change of my surroundings; I need everything around me to be different because inside of me it feels like everything was different.  Part of this desire for change I think includes the need to have more freedom and that can definitely be a sign of you shifting spiritually is because you start to see things for what they really are, you start to see people for the negative energy that they bring into your life. You start to see how we are so brainwashed by our government and institutions. You can also start to see how you are constricting your own freedom. It could be about the way that you think, it could be about the habits that you have, it could be anything and I think once you start to see things for what they actually truly are, that’s when you start to release them or move past them because you can see them constricting and really jeopardizing your ultimate freedom.  

    Again I am not just talking about physical freedom; I am also talking about mental freedom and spiritual freedom. When you see things that are holding you back, I feel like how to have the spiritual awakening process is to naturally want to movebeyond and its not to want to be held down byanything including yourself and your ego because that willhold you down and that will hold you back from moving forward.  Another sign that things are changing and shifting and you are awakening spiritually is because you feel it. You feel that things are happening, you feel that something is changing and you know what that is because it is and before I left for this trip and again this was a very intense period of change for me and I don’t know what the hell was going on. It was filled with really high highs and also low lows.  There were points. It still happens. Like right now I feel like I am high. There were points where I feel like everything is exactly how it should be. I feel like I am doing what I need to do. I feel like in a way I have found purpose. I feel like I am on the right track and I can do anything and there is no stopping me both physically, mentally, spiritually and whatever.  Yes right that wave, when you are on that wave, that is for a reason and you are moving forward and there is a reason for it and you can feel it and you know it.

     But there are also times when you are on the flip side of the coin and for me it was feelings like I was going crazy. I literally thought that I was going crazy. Feeling lost, feeling completely out of control of myself, of my life, of my surroundings and everything. Having absolutely no control of anything.  These highs and these lows are going to come and they are going to happen and what happened with me is that they happened in such a short span of time that it was high low, high low, and high low.  ThatI didn’t know and I will say what the hell was going on and everything seem as though it was happeningso fast and when I say if you feel something inside of you is actually changing and that you feel like you are almost a new person or there are just things happening that you are not exactly familiar with, that again is a sign. You feel that things are changing because they are changing. I think that you alone are the one that is going to be able to recognize that and identify that. So again if you feel like the shift is happening inside of you it’s because it’s probably is. The intensity or the amount of time it’s happening in is going to be completely different for different people but just know it that if something is happening or when something is changing - it is a sing. So when these things are changing and these things are happening inside of you it means that the things around you are going to have to change as well because you cannot go through such drastic and internal changes and expect nothing around you to change as well because again the outside world is a reflection of our inner states and these changes can be anything. They can be people in your lives, they can be wanting to release yourself of the job that you have been holding on to, it could be anything. It could be whatever but just wanting to get rid of a something that is holding you back and not truly what you want. It could be wanting to get rid of all your physical possessions because you see that they are holding you down, you see that they are holding you back. Or they are limiting your freedom and when you start to open up that freedom within you, you are going to have to release things around you that are not in alignment with that. 

    I will say a sign of awakening spiritually that I have noticed is that I am starting to become very sensitive to basically my five senses.  For example when I arrived in Istanbul, everything just seemed so squeaky, oh my Gosh.  It was a squeaky city itself but I think that whatever was happening, I don’t even know how to explain it but I was becoming really sensitive to sounds. So every time I would hear a high pitch squeak, it would literally cause me pain in my body, it would hurt me, it would cause me pain and I was like what was happening and again Istanbul is a squeaky city so things are surrounded my squeak and hearing them all the time and feeling them. At some point I was like I can’t even go outside right now because it’s so freaking squeaky. That’s just one example of becoming more sensitive to the things around you. It’s because again if you are awakening spiritually and you are vibrating higher, you are becoming more aware of yourself and the world and also how those two interact and your five senses are definitely aware that you interact with the world that’s how you gather information. It makes sense that the things you are gathering will be intensified once you become aware of yourself and the world and that’s just going to be a byproduct of it. 

    Another sensitivity that I have been realizing is another sensitivity to food which is why I am, it makes me so sad to say this, cutting out cheese and cutting out gluten because I can feel the physical reactions in my body and it’s just not good for me and just becoming aware of the self again is going to be a sign of becoming aware spiritually and not just the physical self but also the emotional self and the mental self.  

    So feeling emotions, they may become more intense. They may become more apparent or you may even be feeling emotions that you didn’t even know you had. Yes you want to go there, we can go there.  That’s just what’s been happening to me. I have been feeling things will come up from the past that I thought were dead and gone, I definitely talked about this in few episodes ago about moving forward from the past and past pain is because these things, although they are not in my conscious state, they have been coming up and I know that the only way for me to deal with them is to actually confront them and then understand them and then move forward. So yes you are going to start feeling things that you thought were dead and gone and again until you acknowledge them and until you are ready to confront them, they are going to be there. I think that’s just proof that until we actually work out something within ourselves it’s going to stay there and we can’t ignore it. It’s there. It’s going to keep on popping up. 

    So becoming more aware more of the physical, becoming more aware of your emotional states but also the mental parts of you too.  For example my thoughts, I am becoming more aware of my thoughts and I think that is because I am becoming more aware of everything in general and I have been noticing that there are definitely habits that I have mentally that I don’t like and now that I realize them and now that I see them, I am really trying to change them.  For example, I have been realizing every time that something happens for exampleI don’t like or I see something or I think something, my first initial response is that I hate that and I think using the word hate in my mind is not what I want to doand I definitely do not want that to be part of my internal dialogue and I have been becoming aware of it like I will be thinkingsomethingand then when the word hate comes up I will just realize that I have thought it and by realizing that I am thinking these things, its making me really wonder how long has these habits been in my mind, how long have I been repeating these thoughts that I wasn’t even aware of and that I don’t like and that I don’t want. So I think that is a really important example because it’s just showing you that there are things that are happening inside of you and all around that you are not aware of that are affecting you. Again awareness is key. 

    When you start to awaken and move into the universal awareness, you are going to see things that have probably existed inside of you for a while but you just never knew about it. So increasing your awareness of yourself and basically everything around you is basically going to be happening. I am finding that with my increased awareness of myself it’s been making me want to just be a better person and be nicer to the people which is hard obviously and I think that just becoming aware of the way that you exist, in a way that you treat people, in a way that you are is part of that shift because it can go deeper than that too. I think analyzing what you do and why you do it, you can go beyond the external reasons and go a little bit deeper. For example like I just said if somebody is rude to me I will automatically want to be rude back to them. I think if you look a little deeper than that, it’s in a way myself, I guess my ego trying to protect myself from feeling as though I am somehow unworthy because someone was rude to me and in order to calm back that feeling of unworthiness, my ego wants to like kind of defend it and fight back in other to keep that vulnerable state from being exposed. I think when we become aware of exactly why we are doing things, that’s when the shift can ultimately start to play out in the practical world.  

    So if you want to sum up my experience with the spiritual awakening overall, I would say that it feels as though things are changing inside of me at a very rapid pace. It feels as though I am becoming aware of myself very rapidly and it feels as though things are starting to make sense. I am not exactly sure if I completely answered the question on what is a spiritual awakening, but over all its basically going to be a bunch of experiences that are calling for you to change because you aren’t changing and ultimately what it’s been feeling like in the past few months is that I am seeing a part of myself that I need to change, I want to change, that are going to change and I am also seeing a part of myself that I want to release. Again it’s not easy, I will say that if I can push this out properly, I would say like 15 to 20 percent of what I am going through, what is happening right now is good and happy and then rock on and then the other around 80 percent, it feels as though like I said before, a little bit out of control, a little bit emotionally painful. It feels as though I am being stripped of everything that I thought I know and really just questioning who I am and what the hell am I doing here.         But I think what it really comes down to is moving forward and leaving everything behind you that you do not want to take with you and slowly releasing those parts of yourself. It’s going to take time and its going to take a whole lot of work actually but you know what, it has to happen and it’s happening and I am ok with it and I hope that something whatever I said made sense. I hope that even the whole episode made sense. Again I am not entirely sure if it did or not but I think it’s besides the point isn’t it. 

    Okay I think that pretty much wraps up this week episode. I want to again say thank you again to everyone that listened to this podcast. I really truly appreciate it and if you want to check out my website you can do so. The address is www.artoftheunknownpodcast.com. I have been updating with blog post and some pictures and all that good stuff. If you want you can always reach out to me via instagram, via email, whatever you are feeling. I hope that you enjoyed this episode and I hope that you are enjoying your spiritual journey or your spiritual quest, wherever that may bring you. And I hope you enjoy the ride and go with the flow. I am out!